It’s Thursday night and I am back at Five Minute Friday with some of my favorite ladies on the world wide webs. You know that thing where we do, right? Our fearless leader Kate hands us a one-word prompt and we all run off and write about it for five minutes? No editing, no censoring. Just writing. And then we all jump back over to her place and link up our posts.
So this week, Kate has given us the word WAIT.
And that is good, because I have waited all week for words to come. For something worthwhile to say in this space.
I have waited for the stuck feeling to pass and the heavy burden to lift. I waited for God to speak to my heart.
And nothing has come but more jumbled emotions and a heavier fog of not knowing.
I have waited to be certain that writing in this space is part of my calling, that I am not just another voice clamoring for attention in this world.
And yet still I feel very uncertain.
I am not sure what I am about this week. I am not sure what God is up to in me.
At one point in my life, that would have sent me frantically trying to resolve whatever the issue is.
But I am learning to view the way through differently these days.
I am not so afraid of waiting any more. Not so quick to identify a problem and look for a solution.
I find myself content to just stand here, with my toes perched over the edge of the open plane door, while He checks our equipment and makes sure I am ready to jump.
I’m learning to lean into Him rather than run after answers.
To wait until he gives me a gentle nudge and tells me to jump.
I am learning that the spiritual skydive He has called me to this year is about letting go.
And waiting for Him to move me.
And I am learning to be okay with that.